Business As Usual Here
Hi there. I’m Roy Hobbson, and I’ll be manning the controls here today. This is my house now, if only briefly. Of course, I can’t promise that I won’t accidently burn this place to the ground in a hail of napalm. But what I CAN promise is that I’ll do my best to uphold the gentlemanly demeanor & dignified excellence that you’ve come to expect from this fine publication. I can promise to respect this hallowed ground. For only a slack-jawed carnie would act otherwise.
[opens George’s fridge & drinks orange juice straight from the carton … walks around]
Say, this place is magnificent! These gilded ceilings ooze with class, and the walls in here are lined with prestigious journalism awards & fine Oriental tapestries. Everything smells of rich oak, and unlike my blog, there’s nary a puddle of drifter-urine to be found. NOT A ONE!!! Such elegance!!! A fellow could get accustomed to this!!!
[uses priceless Ming vase as a spittoon]
Oh, this will do quite nicely. Quite nicely indeed. I have the sense that I belong here, and I’m fairly certain George would agree. How could he not?
[wipes face on authentic copy of the Magna Carta hanging in the foyer]
Check back here often, for I’ll be updating the site throughout the day. And I vow to do so with the sense of reverence this place deserves. I assure you, I’ll make George proud. Just as soon as I get settled in.
[angrily kicks Donald Davidson out of the study]
Much better. Let’s get started, shall we?