Business As Usual Here

toaster

Hi there. I’m Roy Hobbson, and I’ll be manning the controls here today. This is my house now, if only briefly. Of course, I can’t promise that I won’t accidently burn this place to the ground in a hail of napalm. But what I CAN promise is that I’ll do my best to uphold the gentlemanly demeanor & dignified excellence that you’ve come to expect from this fine publication. I can promise to respect this hallowed ground. For only a slack-jawed carnie would act otherwise.

[opens George’s fridge & drinks orange juice straight from the carton ... walks around]

Say, this  place is magnificent! These gilded ceilings ooze with class, and the walls in here are lined with prestigious journalism awards & fine Oriental tapestries. Everything smells of rich oak, and unlike my blog, there’s nary a puddle of drifter-urine to be found. NOT A ONE!!! Such elegance!!! A fellow could get accustomed to this!!!

[uses priceless Ming vase as a spittoon]

Oh, this will do quite nicely. Quite nicely indeed. I have the sense that I belong here, and I’m fairly certain George would agree. How could he not?

[wipes face on authentic copy of the Magna Carta hanging in the foyer]

Check back here often, for I’ll be updating the site throughout the day. And I vow to do so with the sense of reverence this place deserves. I assure you, I’ll make George proud. Just as soon as I get settled in.

[angrily kicks Donald Davidson out of the study]

Much better. Let’s get started, shall we?

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26 Responses to “Business As Usual Here”

  1. You know, I always wondered what Donald Davidson did the other eleven months of the year. I would have never guessed in a million years that he freeloaded at George’s place.

    Where does he keep the beer? It is after 8 in Tennessee, so it’s proper to start drinking.

    • In the south, in order to start drinking at 8, you must first bring in last nights’ ‘possum roadkill and fire up the grill.

  2. Air Conditioner Says:

    The Tennessee Titans remind me a lot of Vitor Meira. Lots of promise and hype, but always come up short.

    Roy, try to put down a tarp when you’re taking your Salat-esque 5 flabongo’s a day.

  3. Party at George’s place. Roy found the keys to the liquor cabinet.

  4. Sorry, we used all the liquor to clean our wounds after the Titans loss. As to the stray puddles of urine, I’m sure George’s dog can accommodate you as you lie in your stupor–forgetting to take her out. Please watch out for the Waterford Crystal which is carefully hidden under the Indy program collection (he knew you would never touch those, as they provide you with Indy history facts). I do love the Silent Pagoda–genius.

    Don’t forget to turn out the lights….

  5. I hope you get a post from MARS, would like to read your response…

    • Tiesto star is dedicated to our Italian family and friends.
      From my blog:
      EJR has an Italian cousin living in Rome and is now a practicing veterinarian. I used to want to take that trip but now I would rather go to Paris and bypass Ferrari and friends.

      My Italian friend Francis passed away on your birthday this year EJR and he-she(transgendered) reminded me, before he-she died, that not all things Italian are necessarily Roman Catholic. It seems that the Roman Catholic faith has a system that just allows sin to reign and with the help of the Hail-Mary-pass, believe that there are no consequences for sin on this earth. “You think that is wrong? The new Pope actually has declared 10 commandments for driving for those who wish to disregard his directives.

      The Highway to Heaven

      1 You shall not kill

      2 The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm

      3 Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you to deal with unforeseen events

      4 Be charitable and help your neighbour in need, especially victims of accidents

      5 Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination or an occasion for sin

      6 Charitably convince the young and not-so-young not to drive when they are not in a fit condition

      7 Support the families of accident victims

      8 Bring guilty motorists and their victims together so they can experience forgiveness

      9 On the road, protect the more vulnerable party

      10 Feel responsible towards others

      • Speaking of hooligans…

      • MARS attacks. ACK! ACK!

      • Whoa whoa whoa, slow down there, partner. We’re looking for quick bursts of comments here … not a prolonged Ghostbusters-like proton stream of whatever it is you’re talking about.

        Let’s keep our heads on in here. You’re better than that, Mars.

      • As the Official Greaseball blogger of Indy Car, these are the Three Rules of Italian Driving: #ah 1) Whazza behinda you, itsa not important. #ah 2) Alwaysa be moving forward. anna #ah tree) Alwaysa move, asa fast as youa can. Tank you fora you time.

  6. Whoa, this place is classy. I don’t like it.

  7. Judas … who let in the hooligans. George must have left the door unlocked again.

  8. Thank you, indygrrl. The less said by me about you-know-who-the better off we all are. I do wish that George would just ban her, but that is up to him.

  9. Edward, dear,
    George would ban me but he is not a communist!

  10. There you go, Mars!!! NOW you’re on the trolley. Welcome aboard, friend.

    (And no — your great Aunt Wilma was not a filthy liar. But she DID wrestle bears at one point.

    http://silentpagoda.com/blog/2009/05/21/the-omnipotence-of-donald-davidson-is-infinite-somewhat-eerie/ )

  11. Hey Roy, sorry it took so long to get here. I had to make 3 bus transfers, hitch a ride on Uncle Dale’s truck and then walk a mile. But wow, this is some fine s**t in here. I just refilled my milk jug with this fine water out of the toilet water fountain.

  12. Nice place. Very nice. Very nice indeed. Classy, sophisticated, charming. yes, all of those things. Good to see it hasn’t burned to the ground…yet. Ummm, Roy, I’m pretty sure when you place wood in the fireplace for a fire, you don’t pack it full like that. And it doesn’t come out into the room. And why is there an indycar refueling rig in the room down the hall?

  13. OK Roy, quick, feed the dog some chocolate, and let him wipe his butt on George’s carpet.

  14. lindy thackston Says:

    POOF.
    I’m here.

    What’s your next two wishes dear Hobbs?

    I don’t have to uphold the gentlemanly demeanor & dignified excellence too, do I?

  15. “I don’t have to uphold the gentlemanly demeanor & dignified excellence too, do I?”

    It is Roy, so what do you think?

  16. I cannot believe that 25 comments followed THAT blog post which featured nothing about racing single-seaters. No talk of wicker bills, rain lights/rookie lights, who should’ve won the 2002 Indy 500, the checkered history of the Xtrac gearbox, who qualified fifth at Indy in 1984, adjustable dive planes, highly-tuned athletes … Oh, that reminds me: The Tennessee Titans remind me a lot of Daica Patrick. Lots of promise and hype, but always come up short.

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