Bow Down, Christmas Carolers … Jim Nabors Is Here To Show You How It’s Done

toaster 
It’s that time of year again — when there’s magic in the air, a gleam in children’s eyes, and we’re serenaded by the dulcet tones of America’s greatest badass. That’s right, the Jim Nabors Christmas Album hits stores again this week, and if it’s NOT on sale at the IZOD IndyCar Store — then is should be. Why?

Because Jim Nabors will rock your face off with his majesty & confidence, and this album proves no different. He sings all of his time-honored classics here, including:

  • "It’s Christmas Time When I Tell You It Is"
  • "Put Some Lovemaking in My Stocking"
  • "Andy Griffith, That Filthy Bastard, Re-Gifted Me a Toaster"
  • "The Sniper Stand & the Mistletoe: A Love Story"
  • "Sometimes Santa Needs a Beatdown" (a duet with Kris Kristofferson)
  • "The Best Present Is a Bottle of Fine Cognac"
  • "I Saw Jimmy Kissing Carol Burnett"
  • "I Have No Problems with Hanukkah"
  • "Drink This Eggnog (Or Prepare to Be Thrashed)"
  • "Fake Christmas Trees Are For Dirty Communists"

And there’s much more (as I’m sure we’ll hear about in the comments).

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21 Responses to “Bow Down, Christmas Carolers … Jim Nabors Is Here To Show You How It’s Done”

  1. HOBBSON, YOU BASTARD. You’re like a virus … use one one host (Silent Pagoda) and move on to the next. We’ll, we’re going to make a stand …. hey, is that single malt you got there? ….. Welcome my brother! Just take it easy on George’s place. He just had the furniture scotchguarded. Reminds me to change my blog control panel password. You’re not going to talk about Nabors’ testicles AGAIN, are you?

  2. He has testicles? I thought Sargeant Carter had them on his mantle.

  3. Indygirl, don’t worry about George, he has a new BFF!
    He’s getting shoutourts on twitter from his favorite driver!
    You probably couldn’t guess who Georges new BFF is
    From Twitter..
    Great read – ‘Sam Schmidt: An Enduring Legacy’ http://tinyurl.com/ygy5vue @SSM99

  4. “Round Up Ye Christmas Winches”

  5. So this is what it was like when the Huns finally got to Rome. Fantastic. Now we just need some axes and alcohol. That ought to go over real well in the Athens of the South.

  6. Jason McVeigh Says:

    The pagoda inmates have taken over a fancy new asylum. No better soundtrack for a hostile takeover than Jim Nabors. I’m trying to download his new song “Nascar sucks and so does your face!”

  7. “Trembling with Christmas Joy (or are those the Booze Shakes?)”

  8. Come home, George. Hobbson found the prescription medications in the bathroom and has locked himself inside with your telephone, the 1971 500 Race decanter of Wild Turkey and the antique shotgun that hung over the mantle. He’s starting to make prank calls now. He’s already called Milwaukee and told them Oilpressure would sponsor the Mile next year…

  9. You forgot about his new live rendition of “So is Your Face, Santa” with Pearl Jam. You have to buy the whole album on iTunes to get this track, but well worth the purchase.

  10. And that old Southern favorite: Yonder in the Haystack

  11. This is too much to handle. I’ve never felt more disoriented in my life. My Baked Doritos and Dr. Pepper suddenly ain’t sittin’ quite right…

    I better go. Enjoy your day, Hobbson.

  12. Mike Silver Says:

    why do you not have a picture of one of those cool USF1 toasters? A little cross-promotion wouldn’t hurt.

  13. Pulling out the Big Guns with Jim Nabors-my favorite way to sign the guest book at the Hall of Fame Museum!

  14. We’ve got mechanical problems here. Sound the alarms!!!!!

    [calls George on phone]

  15. This just in, Roy: make George fly out here to Vegas, and pay to see Cher!

  16. Curious as to what the Silent Pagoda might look like as a REAL IndyCar blog, are you? Well today’s your slightly-lucky day — for you have a 0.0000000047% of getting your wish.

    Roy, the Nevada Gaming Comission (great name, isn’t it? Like people are out here playing Don’t Spill The Beans or Monopoly) called and wants to know if this is an exact figure of odds, or rounded up?

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